Colliding cultural catastrophe

The Eurovision contest came and went this year and we had no idea the finals were over until 3 days after. What could have contributed to this? Perhaps the dramatic reduction in terms of hype and news coverage. Though the contest is no short of controversies this year, it's still considerably less mentioned or covered by media compared to the years before.

Now if you're from the UK then perhaps the opposite might be true. How the fuck "It's My Time" got fourth is anyone's guess, it's about as exciting as television static. The only worthy part was when Jade Ewen accidentally bumped into the violinist onstage. Scooch was definitely more deserving.

In any case, Norway's Alexander Rybak is clearly worthy of the win, and he could give David Archuleta a run for his money if promoted right, don't you think? A decent voice, impressive violining skills, evidently good songwriting, a winning smile, and a bone structure stolen from Annie. What more could a guy possibly have? Debut album out in a few weeks as well. If we weren't so smitten we'd be sending hate mail.

Also worth mentioning is the Estonian entry, "Rändajad", which is clearly amazing, more amazing than all the songs combined (minus "Fairytale") multiplied by 8293. It came in sixth place.

What's sad about all this is that there's an 85% chance that anyone who has anything to do with the competition will fade away into obscurity in about 12 months. :(

The video we've been waiting for is out

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen.



And what a shocker it turned out to be.

Basically someone somewhere decided to chop the song and remove the amazing transition bits so as to "retain audience attention" or whatever they call it. This unbelievably foolish thing to do has resulted in a very bad edit of the song, as featured in the video. How stupid can record companies get? This is an example. It's either idiocy or plain sabotage.

Besides that, the video is really pretty. Some interesting and questionable dance routine, a sprinkling of dramatic acting, and a floating coffin in the beautiful spring sunshine. Perfect, really.

Intense outrage...

...channeled into more toying around.



Shocking how well the two tracks go together. Now if only someone would be commissioned to make an official version somewhere. :(

Writer's block...

...translated into producer capabilities.



Thank you ladies and gentlemen. We appreciate the honour.

Not such a fucked up world

Running photoshop as a precautionary step, we were expecting the worst.


Seems like there was no need for any amount of image doctoring after all, to prove that Tyra Banks is about to make one of the biggest mistakes in the history of America's Next Top Model when she unearths Teyona as the winner in a couple of days.

Why Allison should win? Don't ask us, just head over to any ANTM comment box on Youtube. Though the main reason for us to be rooting for her is because she's a hilarious nerd with an interesting personality who also appears utterly stunning in her photos.

Trust Ann Shoket and Tyra to screw us over soon enough.

Less than perfect timing

If "Battlefield" was released a bit earlier, it would have gotten quite some publicity due to the Iraq war and the Bush administration and all that rubbish. Think of the possibilities. Radio refusing to play the song for fear of causing injury due to the 'sensitive situation' the country is in, which in turn generates a huge amount of interest, prompting endless streams on Youtube, eventually leading to massive download figures and record-breaking sales.

However, now that we have you-know-who in charge of America, everything's washed over with an annoying glow of radiant hope and everlasting cheer, which does no good when it comes to selling using controversy. Nobody is excited anymore. Everything is just too 'ok' now.

Moving away from our political rant, Jordin Sparks has really done a great job with this lovely pop thingy which you can listen to right here.


© Jive Records 2009

That was an approximately 30 second clip of "Battlefield" in case you didn't know.

Though when you think about it, if we lived in a perfect world, Rihanna would be the one releasing "No Air" with Chris Brown, and then following it up with "Battlefield" right after the whole Chris Brown incident where she looked like she just managed to escape a brawl with a few angry hookers in an alley. And in a perfect world, both songs would be massive #1 hits on both sides of the ocean, thanks to so much controversy.

Basically we know we don't sound very sane now, but it's almost 2am and frankly, we 'can't be bovvered' with Jordin's terribly clean image and slightly above average sales for an Idol-winner. This is a song written by Ryan Tedder. Why was it given to Jordin of all people? Also we're starting to believe Mr. Tedder has something for black women. He has written a total of 3 massive hits to date, "Bleeding Love" for Leona Lewis, "Halo" for Beyonce, and now "Battlefield" for Jordin. Why won't he come up with something for, say, Nadine?

"Battlefield" remains an amazing song regardless.