Ugly old quiche

So what's up lately? Definitely not the Sugababes' career, as Keisha Buchanan digs deeper into the grave of the Sugababes with an angrily bitchy comment on her Twitter.

"Oh we just wanted to give a BIG 2 fingers and a Kiss our Ass to the sad prat who made that YouTube video about Us against GA. Get the **** over it. We like what they do. We Love what we do. We are a completely different band. Who gives a **** if we've had 2 line up changes... Even more reason to show us support & respect because we are still surviving!!!

WE have had Nearly TEN yrs In this industry with with 7 albums 5 number ones HUGE sales across EUROPE not only in the UK. We write. Sing live. We have never Sold our selves out to the media. Who we thank for all their support so far but its never been about that. We're about the music.

Love and support to all the up and coming girl bands. BUT their will only ever be ONE sugababes and even though the last album wasnt A huge hit (lol) Who gives a sh!t. We are not giving up. And we STILL remain (According to OVER ALL SALES) THE BIGGEST GIRLBAND FROM THE UK! Thanks to all our real fans and supporters we love you xxxx "

I don't think any explaining needs to be done. It's just appalling how she reacted to a fanmade Youtube video. Just because you sell more doesn't mean you're not shit, honey. Perhaps it's time Keisha stepped aside, as she's done enough damage to the Suga's reputation, image and discography.

Perhaps it's time to reinstate Siobhan.

And they crave affection

Continuing on from last post's mention of taste, who knew Pharrell Williams actually had any? One of the most annoying men in the music scene, his own discography sounds absolutely awful and he tends to ruin other artistes work as well, as evident in Madonna's "Give It 2 Me". Thank god then that Gwen Stefani insisted on the ridiculous music loop in "Wind It Up", as the original Pharrell version was so dull, it was incomprehensible.

But moving on, let's get to his effort at redeeming himself. Presented below is a clip from a current popular song called "She Loves Everybody" by pop duo Chester French. What has Pharrell got to do with these two white kids, you ask? Well, he signed them onto his label. That's all. God knows why Chester French agreed though.


© Star Trak/Interscope 2009

That's probably the best bit of the song, right before it tumbles into an incoherent mess of guitars. It's not a bad track though, definitely very interesting when heard a few times, granted you ignore the cringe-worthy lyrics completely.

We were supposed to listen to the album as it had amazing cover art and then give it a few spins for a review, but instead we found out of a 7Digital promotion which enabled us to download three songs for free. Hence.


© Fascination Records 2009

One can only hope.

The death of humanity

Tragedy befell the human race today. Something so bad, it's almost unmentionable. And whose fault is it? The British music buyers. And we always thought that the Americans were the most tasteless.

Earlier today it was confirmed that "Untouchable" was #11 in the UK. That's just horrid isn't it? One of the more amazing songs of recent times, peaking right outside the Top 10. It's like dying then standing right outside the pearly gates, never to be permitted entry. Untouchable, of all songs. That's like denying Mother Theresa or Gandhi from having a peaceful afterlife.

But then again, maybe we're all just reacting too negatively to this catastrophe. So what if it was merely a #11 for the goddesses. Sure, "Untouchable" might be the lowest charting Girls Aloud song to date, but does Nadine really care?

The answer is yes, of course she does. She's probably weeping into her pillow at this moment, having locked up Sarah and Brian in the dungeons for screwing up the whole thing by stealing Nicola's bits in the intro of the radio edit. Cheryl would be staring out of the window of her bedroom distraught, while Nicola would be in the kitchen looking at the knives, noticing how tempting they've become. Kimberly would be smiling in the garden, chasing a squirrel or something similar, oblivious to the entire disaster.

Let's relive the pain one more time.


© Fascination Records 2009

And that, ladies and gentlemen, charted at number 11. Nobody shall go unpunished. We repeat, nobody.

Top Honours 2008

After much deliberation, it has been decided that...

Pop Artist of the Year
Beyoncé
Britney Spears
Gabriella Cilmi
Katy Perry
Sarah Brightman

While they were all special in one way or another, Katy Perry stormed through 2008 with I Kissed A Girl and Hot N Cold which basically charted everywhere and were great songs themselves. Coming second was Britney Spears with her massive, A-rated comeback followed by Sarah Brightman thanks to her accomplished studio effort "Symphony" and her work on the soundtrack of "Repo: The Genetic Opera".

Pop Group/Duo of the Year
Girls Aloud
Goldfrapp
The Saturdays
Take That
The Ting Tings

Arguably also deserved by The Ting Tings who came out from nowhere and produced a brilliant set of tunes, Girls Aloud wins here for their significant releases in 2008, among them the Top 10 hit Can't Speak French and their number one chart entry "The Promise" that showed just how some music never gets tiring.

Pop Song of the Year
Gabriella Cilmi - Sweet About Me
Girls Aloud - The Promise
Goldfrapp - A&E
Sarah McLachlan - U Want Me 2
The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go

Making a clean sweep at the ARIA Awards showed how much potential this young woman had as an artist, and her album has gotten some positive remarks from critics worldwide as well. But this track, Sweet About Me, will be a classic, one that will be played decades from now on for its sheer catchiness.

Pop Album of the Year
Girls Aloud - Out Of Control
Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree
Sharleen Spiteri - Melody
The Ting Tings - We Started Nothing
Yael Naim - Yael Naim

The Ting Tings narrowly edged out the Girls' effort due to their innovation and creativity, as heard in their songs. That's Not My Name, annoying but brilliant, was a number one hit for them, while the ever amazing Shut Up And Let Me Go won the hearts of music listeners both sides of the ocean.

Foreign Artist of the Year
Ami Suzuki
Ayumi Hamasaki
Hikaru Utada
Alan
Yuna Ito

For her ultimately excellent album Heart Station, Utada beats pop diva Ayumi Hamasaki in this category despite the latter releasing some of her best work in recent times. However, Utada is no stranger to awards, with every release of hers gaining well-deserved attention from the public.

Foreign Song of the Year
Ayumi Hamasaki - Days
Ayumi Hamasaki - Green
Ayumi Hamasaki - Mirrorcle World
Hikaru Utada - Stay Gold
Yuna Ito - miss you

Having three songs in the nominees list might have been a bit of a feat to pull off, but Hamasaki's A-sides in 2008 were so strong they deserved more than they got. Despite being number ones, their sales figures were paltry compared to the sales of her Top 10 singles many years ago. A close contender for this honour was Utada's Stay Gold, but Green won for the way it plays out in an epic manner.

Foreign Single of the Year
Alan - ひとつ
Ayumi Hamasaki - Days/Green
Hitomi Shimatani - 雨の日には雨の中を風の日には風の中を
Namie Amuro - 60s 70s 80s
Yuna Ito - miss you

As mentioned before, Hamasaki's 2008 singles were some of her best in recent years, and Days/Green boasts two excellent A-sides that showed her knack for a ear-catching melody, narrowly beating out Alan's ひとつ.

Foreign Album of the Year
Ami Suzuki - Supreme Show
Ayumi Hamasaki - Guilty
Hikaru Utada - Heart Station
Kumi Koda - Kingdom
Mika Nakashima - Voice

Heart Station was shocking; it was everything an album should be. All the tracks were single-worthy and unique, yet they melded together perfectly. Critics and fans alike may point out that the album contains outtakes from previous studio effort Ultra Blue, but why waste some brilliant songs when you can make them work together?

Newcomer of the Year
Duffy
Gabriella Cilmi
Katy Perry
Alan
The Ting Tings

Both The Ting Tings and Katy Perry brought a strong fascination for music when their songs first debuted on the radio. Perry's I Kissed A Girl was both controversial and superb, while That's Not My Name gave a sense of originality while boasting a hok that pounds itself into your head. While both won over fans like no other, The Ting Tings deserve this honour more for being one of a kind; no other bands of the moment sound or even look like them.

That's all we have folks, here's to 2009 bringing us more of the "same old shit" as Popjustice would say.

Also reviews

Girl groups have gone into a frenzy the past fortnight or so.

It started with the Sugababes.



Well, actualy the Saturdays but they get stated second for no clear reason.



Up is amazing by the way, just that for no clear reason somebody somewhere decided to make it sluggish-sounding and tedious and shit, in an attempt to bog the album down.

And last but definitely and no way in hell the least we have Girls Aloud with their fifth studio album.



Compared to a similar time of the year in 2007...



Bloody amazing.

This should be a lesson to all the girls out there who still make mediocre albums despite being in the industry long enough to have seen 2372093 lineup changes, and newbies who just can't scratch it but might have the potential to do so in the future depending on whether they sell enough to avoid getting severed off in a bloody dispute with their labels.

The Promise is...

..jesus dancing at night in a field of flowers while rainbows explode in the sky and rain down colourful ice drops and snow and shine like gumdrops of pure sunshine.


© Fascination Records 2008

It makes the Boots ad song sound like "glitter".

More mishaps

Adorable Ayumi.

Mirrorcle World will be unleashed upon the hapless public in a few days but the Oricon prediction shows that it might be facing some competition from ZARD, a singer who died last year. How did a dead singer release a single? Ask Avex. God knows how they managed to get new material from ZARD.

Also Sugababes and another flop (by their standards when Mutya was around) that makes us think. Denial was a pretty good song too. The Amelle curse, perhaps? Already two singles failing to reach the Top 10, ghastly. And then there's Girls Aloud with their lowest-charting single, the amazing Can't Speak French. But how low is lowest when it's Girls Aloud? Well, a #9. But then again with all the radio support and promotion and Cheryl Cole drama, I expected a Top 5.

Times like these are tough.