Doing it yourself

Thank you once again.

This "music business"

We were feeling pretty down for the past two Mika Nakashima singles and lost interest in writing about her for a while. Behaviour of this sort was caused by the less-than-stellar quality of "Orion" (which became one of her bigger hits) and her latest effort "Over Load". "Orion" was a predictable and uplifting ballad with a kind of a pleasant twangy sound while "Over Load" sounded like a rework of Life minus the brilliant piano intro.

However now that the full single is out, it's obvious the fault is Mika's. She isn't talentless, she's just presented with substandard people to arrange her music. This is a fact, made evident by the Kenmochi Hidefumi remix of the track, which layers her vocals with laidback and more pleasant instruments, giving it a more jazzy and relaxed feel. In other words, it is fucking brilliant.

Then on the B-sides frontier we have the absolutely amazing "No Answer". It has near-perfect arrangements and some very sweet melodies, and hence this possibly made the instrumental more enjoyable than the track itself. Such a strong song, and it's not even mentioned on the single cover nor has it received any advertising.

It's all a major fuck-up if you ask us. The Kenmochi Hidefumi mix should have been the single version, backed up with a second A-side in the form of "No Answer", coupled with two music videos as well, instead of just one pretty low budgeted one done for "Over Load". The woman's last album went platinum for heaven's sake. Give her more.

Digressing for a bit though, it's amazing when you consider that in about slightly more than a year Mika Nakashima will be selling more copies of future albums than Ayumi will.

Ugly old quiche

So what's up lately? Definitely not the Sugababes' career, as Keisha Buchanan digs deeper into the grave of the Sugababes with an angrily bitchy comment on her Twitter.

"Oh we just wanted to give a BIG 2 fingers and a Kiss our Ass to the sad prat who made that YouTube video about Us against GA. Get the **** over it. We like what they do. We Love what we do. We are a completely different band. Who gives a **** if we've had 2 line up changes... Even more reason to show us support & respect because we are still surviving!!!

WE have had Nearly TEN yrs In this industry with with 7 albums 5 number ones HUGE sales across EUROPE not only in the UK. We write. Sing live. We have never Sold our selves out to the media. Who we thank for all their support so far but its never been about that. We're about the music.

Love and support to all the up and coming girl bands. BUT their will only ever be ONE sugababes and even though the last album wasnt A huge hit (lol) Who gives a sh!t. We are not giving up. And we STILL remain (According to OVER ALL SALES) THE BIGGEST GIRLBAND FROM THE UK! Thanks to all our real fans and supporters we love you xxxx "

I don't think any explaining needs to be done. It's just appalling how she reacted to a fanmade Youtube video. Just because you sell more doesn't mean you're not shit, honey. Perhaps it's time Keisha stepped aside, as she's done enough damage to the Suga's reputation, image and discography.

Perhaps it's time to reinstate Siobhan.

Colliding cultural catastrophe

The Eurovision contest came and went this year and we had no idea the finals were over until 3 days after. What could have contributed to this? Perhaps the dramatic reduction in terms of hype and news coverage. Though the contest is no short of controversies this year, it's still considerably less mentioned or covered by media compared to the years before.

Now if you're from the UK then perhaps the opposite might be true. How the fuck "It's My Time" got fourth is anyone's guess, it's about as exciting as television static. The only worthy part was when Jade Ewen accidentally bumped into the violinist onstage. Scooch was definitely more deserving.

In any case, Norway's Alexander Rybak is clearly worthy of the win, and he could give David Archuleta a run for his money if promoted right, don't you think? A decent voice, impressive violining skills, evidently good songwriting, a winning smile, and a bone structure stolen from Annie. What more could a guy possibly have? Debut album out in a few weeks as well. If we weren't so smitten we'd be sending hate mail.

Also worth mentioning is the Estonian entry, "Rändajad", which is clearly amazing, more amazing than all the songs combined (minus "Fairytale") multiplied by 8293. It came in sixth place.

What's sad about all this is that there's an 85% chance that anyone who has anything to do with the competition will fade away into obscurity in about 12 months. :(

The video we've been waiting for is out

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen.



And what a shocker it turned out to be.

Basically someone somewhere decided to chop the song and remove the amazing transition bits so as to "retain audience attention" or whatever they call it. This unbelievably foolish thing to do has resulted in a very bad edit of the song, as featured in the video. How stupid can record companies get? This is an example. It's either idiocy or plain sabotage.

Besides that, the video is really pretty. Some interesting and questionable dance routine, a sprinkling of dramatic acting, and a floating coffin in the beautiful spring sunshine. Perfect, really.

Intense outrage...

...channeled into more toying around.



Shocking how well the two tracks go together. Now if only someone would be commissioned to make an official version somewhere. :(

Writer's block...

...translated into producer capabilities.



Thank you ladies and gentlemen. We appreciate the honour.

Not such a fucked up world

Running photoshop as a precautionary step, we were expecting the worst.


Seems like there was no need for any amount of image doctoring after all, to prove that Tyra Banks is about to make one of the biggest mistakes in the history of America's Next Top Model when she unearths Teyona as the winner in a couple of days.

Why Allison should win? Don't ask us, just head over to any ANTM comment box on Youtube. Though the main reason for us to be rooting for her is because she's a hilarious nerd with an interesting personality who also appears utterly stunning in her photos.

Trust Ann Shoket and Tyra to screw us over soon enough.

Less than perfect timing

If "Battlefield" was released a bit earlier, it would have gotten quite some publicity due to the Iraq war and the Bush administration and all that rubbish. Think of the possibilities. Radio refusing to play the song for fear of causing injury due to the 'sensitive situation' the country is in, which in turn generates a huge amount of interest, prompting endless streams on Youtube, eventually leading to massive download figures and record-breaking sales.

However, now that we have you-know-who in charge of America, everything's washed over with an annoying glow of radiant hope and everlasting cheer, which does no good when it comes to selling using controversy. Nobody is excited anymore. Everything is just too 'ok' now.

Moving away from our political rant, Jordin Sparks has really done a great job with this lovely pop thingy which you can listen to right here.


© Jive Records 2009

That was an approximately 30 second clip of "Battlefield" in case you didn't know.

Though when you think about it, if we lived in a perfect world, Rihanna would be the one releasing "No Air" with Chris Brown, and then following it up with "Battlefield" right after the whole Chris Brown incident where she looked like she just managed to escape a brawl with a few angry hookers in an alley. And in a perfect world, both songs would be massive #1 hits on both sides of the ocean, thanks to so much controversy.

Basically we know we don't sound very sane now, but it's almost 2am and frankly, we 'can't be bovvered' with Jordin's terribly clean image and slightly above average sales for an Idol-winner. This is a song written by Ryan Tedder. Why was it given to Jordin of all people? Also we're starting to believe Mr. Tedder has something for black women. He has written a total of 3 massive hits to date, "Bleeding Love" for Leona Lewis, "Halo" for Beyonce, and now "Battlefield" for Jordin. Why won't he come up with something for, say, Nadine?

"Battlefield" remains an amazing song regardless.

Deadliest of synths

As pictures of Rihanna rubbing her clitoris circulate throughout the net, we thought it would have been appropriate to give her the "treatment" and write something about her such as previewing a new song, etc. Unfortunately, nudity really doesn't help in making an artist's discography more appealing, as we found out while listening to her shitty albums. Instead, we'd rather waste our time talking about one of the best things to ever happen to music, namely La Roux.

Lead singer Elly has such a deliciously shrill voice that makes everything utterly listenable. Her vocals sound piercing and sharp, and to some extent "tinny", but that works in her favour of course. And the music, oh the music. It's best described as spectacular and very, very synth.


© Kitsune/Polydor Records 2009

As you can hear clearly in the above clip, La Roux is basically genius. So far every single song they've put out have been nothing short of amazing, and "I'm Not Your Toy" is a great example of that. The synthesizers are perfect, the lyrics are adorable, and her vocals are lovely.

As debut single "In For The Kill" hit #2 and is still in the Top 10, the astounding second single "Bulletproof" has been pushed back for a mid-June release. And following this, their self-titled debut album will be out on the 29th of next month (simply put, a decade away from today).

PS: We're almost a hundred percent sure Chris Brown leaked those pictures by the way. That hilarious woman-beater.

Maybe, if ever

What does this picture say about Kings of Convenience?

a) It could be that the rumoured album they've been recording over a decade now (it sure felt like it) has been postponed indefinitely and might not even see the light of day, as these young men are tired of the 'life in the fast lane' they've become so accustomed to since the release of their first two albums.

b) It could be that they're trying to play a prank on fans, and they've actually recorded the album and it is currently locked up somewhere impenetrable, like a vault somewhere, or somewhere unexpected, like the depths of someone's refrigerator.

c) It could be that they haven't done any recording and have in fact, been lazing around their beautiful Norwegian beaches in the sunrise and sunset, procrastinating and maybe even secretly dreading the fact they haven't had any work done in years.

d) Or maybe they're trying to point out that the title of their album is "MAYBE" in a clever and humorous manner.

God only knows how much we pray that option 'd' is the case, but somewhere deep within our hearts we are almost sure it's the horrible and agonizing 'a'. But perhaps they may be forgiven, for "Riot On An Empty Street" remains as utterly listenable today, 4 years and 11 months since it's release. Come June, it will be a full five years, which is clearly bad for a popular recording artist as momentum works wonders for chart positions, and chart positions are amazing for publicity.

We hate it when artistes take hiatuses, let alone ones that last longer than 12 months. So imagine our pain when brilliant stars like Natalie Imbruglia and Bic Runga take anywhere from 3 to 5 years between albums. But perhaps it's always worth it.

Still, sadness beckons.

Mythril #1

Sometimes there's only so much one can attempt to harp about the current music scene. Which is why this will be about a song that was written in the middle of the last decade. Don't get us wrong, we're not saying the 90's was an era of great music, in fact far from it. Nowhere else will you find a blog that truly despises the 90's as much as this one.

However, there was one particular gem that stood out amidst the sea of rubbish (e.g. Aqua, N*Sync, and god forbid, Westlife). While Europop and Mariah Carey were taking the world by storm with cheese and melodramatic balladry, one amazing woman remained steadfast. She, Tori Amos, managed to shift millions while maintaining her 'creative control' and 'artistic integrity'.

While she released a string of ultra-brilliant songs and albums in the 90's, our favourite will always be "Hey Jupiter", probably the most heart-wrenching song known to mankind. It's possibly the only song that has two official versions that are equally effective in making a sane person suicidal. Judge for yourself if any of the mutterings here makes sense.


© Atlantic Records 1996

That was the Dakota version by the way, also known as the single version and the one that is played most often on tour.

And in 1996, a song like "Hey Jupiter" could actually gain enough traction to chart on the Billboard charts somewhat, where it reached #94 on the Billboard 200 (also the albums chart). Meanwhile in the UK and Australia it was a Top 20 single. How radio could playlist such a song remains a mystery, especially when today Radio1 wouldn't even air anything that they consider to sound too "tinny".

Though it can be argued that the lovely Tori Amos hasn't put out anything heavily drenched in such pure and raw emotion since "A Sorta Fairytale", she's still absolutely amazing and a legend in her own right. Upcoming album Abnormally Attracted To Sin might be a return to form though, judging by lead single "Welcome To England".

Regardless, we salute you Tori Amos.

Bloody sadists

It's easy to hate VV Brown.

Sometime ago, she released something inexcusably bad called "Crying Blood", and it was so bad, as bad as Kate Nash was when she had the nerve to let out "Caroline's A Victim". "Crying Blood" wasn't bad in the sense that it was lazily made or badly written. It was bad because it was annoying and irritating and not something anyone would want to listen, and the music video was equally irritating as well. It was like Brown intentionally spent a few hours/days/weeks in the studio to come up with the musical equivalent of a mosquito.

God how easy it was to hate her. And when you hate someone, you tend to pick on every attribute the person has. Case in point, Brown's hair. It looked absolutely disgusting back then. It was ugly, silly, and a failed attempt at individualism.

Fast forward 5 months, and that same hair is something elegant, fashionable yet classy, adorable yet, pardon the expression, fierce. It was beautiful, simply put. And all of a sudden, Brown seems like a really attractive woman.

Why the sudden change of stance? Well, simply because of this over here.


© Island Records 2009

That was just unbelievable, given her debut single. Like we mentioned earlier, Kate Nash went through the same phase, releasing the outrageously perfect "Foundations" after her very bad debut. Maybe this is a pattern. A trend observable in future popstars perhaps.

In any case, "Shark In The Water" is undoubtedly brilliant, and will ensure VV Brown becomes permanently fixtured in the Top 20.

And they crave affection

Continuing on from last post's mention of taste, who knew Pharrell Williams actually had any? One of the most annoying men in the music scene, his own discography sounds absolutely awful and he tends to ruin other artistes work as well, as evident in Madonna's "Give It 2 Me". Thank god then that Gwen Stefani insisted on the ridiculous music loop in "Wind It Up", as the original Pharrell version was so dull, it was incomprehensible.

But moving on, let's get to his effort at redeeming himself. Presented below is a clip from a current popular song called "She Loves Everybody" by pop duo Chester French. What has Pharrell got to do with these two white kids, you ask? Well, he signed them onto his label. That's all. God knows why Chester French agreed though.


© Star Trak/Interscope 2009

That's probably the best bit of the song, right before it tumbles into an incoherent mess of guitars. It's not a bad track though, definitely very interesting when heard a few times, granted you ignore the cringe-worthy lyrics completely.

We were supposed to listen to the album as it had amazing cover art and then give it a few spins for a review, but instead we found out of a 7Digital promotion which enabled us to download three songs for free. Hence.


© Fascination Records 2009

One can only hope.

The death of humanity

Tragedy befell the human race today. Something so bad, it's almost unmentionable. And whose fault is it? The British music buyers. And we always thought that the Americans were the most tasteless.

Earlier today it was confirmed that "Untouchable" was #11 in the UK. That's just horrid isn't it? One of the more amazing songs of recent times, peaking right outside the Top 10. It's like dying then standing right outside the pearly gates, never to be permitted entry. Untouchable, of all songs. That's like denying Mother Theresa or Gandhi from having a peaceful afterlife.

But then again, maybe we're all just reacting too negatively to this catastrophe. So what if it was merely a #11 for the goddesses. Sure, "Untouchable" might be the lowest charting Girls Aloud song to date, but does Nadine really care?

The answer is yes, of course she does. She's probably weeping into her pillow at this moment, having locked up Sarah and Brian in the dungeons for screwing up the whole thing by stealing Nicola's bits in the intro of the radio edit. Cheryl would be staring out of the window of her bedroom distraught, while Nicola would be in the kitchen looking at the knives, noticing how tempting they've become. Kimberly would be smiling in the garden, chasing a squirrel or something similar, oblivious to the entire disaster.

Let's relive the pain one more time.


© Fascination Records 2009

And that, ladies and gentlemen, charted at number 11. Nobody shall go unpunished. We repeat, nobody.

Once again the best song of 2009

And not even half of the year has been wasted yet.


© Island Records Group 2009

"Lord, that chorus."

If things stay like this for Florence, the album must be very very very amazing indeed.

It begins with a musical saw...

This is Sarah Blasko. She can be summed up in one word, and that word happens to be 'amazing'. It's been ages since her last ARIA-winning studio album "What The Sea Wants The Sea Will Have", which also can be summarized as 'amazing'. She returns this year with her upcoming studio album "As Day Follows Night", and this is preceded by the single "All I Want" which has premiered, literally, minutes ago on the radio.

You can listen to it here.


© Dew Process 2009

'Amazing'.

Very important future releases you should pre-order at this instant

Florence and the Machine
Lungs
With a unique sound and some amazing vocals, not to mention beautiful lyrics, this album is surely one to be worshipped. Though I'm sure there'll be some awful "BRIT AWARD WINNER" sticker on the case.

1. Dog Days Are Over
2. Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)
3. I'm Not Calling You A Liar
4. Howl
5. Kiss With A Fist
6. Girl With One Eye
7. Drumming
8. Between Two Lungs
9. Cosmic Love
10. My Boy Builds Coffins
11. Hurricane Drunk
12. Blinding
Bonus: You've Got The Love

So yes, the 7th of July.

And then there is...

La Roux
La Roux
Delightfully shrill is how I'd describe the voice of singer Eleanor Jackson. Combined with a dark, interesting and almost 80's sounding set of arrangements, the songs of La Roux tend to lodge deep into your skull after a few listens.

1. In For The Kill
2. Tigerlily
3. Quicksand
4. Bulletproof
5. Colourless Colour
6. I'm Not Your Toy
7. Cover Your Eyes
8. As If By Magic
9. Fascination
10. Reflections Are Protections
11. Armour Love

And this one's out on June 29th.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

Looking glass so shiny and new
How quickly the glamour fades
I stop spinning slipping out of time
Was it the wrong pill to take

(Raise it up)

You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough

(Raise it up, raise it up)
It's not enough
(Raise it up, raise it up)

Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I've made the final sacrifice

We raise it up
This offering
We raise it up

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
The Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up)
If only I could see your face (raise it up)
Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up)
I wish that I could just be brave

(I must become) a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice

We raise it up
This offering
We raise it up

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
The Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

(Raise it up, raise it up)

And in the spring I shed my skin
and it blows away with the changing wind
the waters turn from blue to red
as towards the sky I offer it

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
The Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

This is a gift