Reinventing Ayumi

Ayumi's role model is Madonna.

Then shame on her for breaking Madonna's golden rule: Re-invention.

Madonna never does the same thing twice, so every album is a completely different body of work from the other. No matter how terrible her album sold, no genres were directly repeated. But what about Ayumi? Lol no! She crushed that commandment ages ago when she dared to make Blue Bird and then had the nerve to follow it up with Glitter.

Seeing that people are no longer bothered with her doing summery pop to death, she then went on to suck out all the life from the rock genre by making one rock single after another. Fated, Talkin 2 myself, Decision, Mirrorcle World, rock versions of her singles from the previous decade (You & Depend On You "anniversary" (lol!!) versions), etc etc. Then there was also a terrible rock album called GUILTY which became her first album not to reach #1 (lol!!).

Her music gets progressively more soulless and tedious each time she repeats the same thing. What happened to the Ayumi before My Story came out? New Ayumi is like a terrible racist insult to the entire Ayumi discography with every new song a fatal virus she adds into the Hamasaki Music Collection.

Someone needs to stop her now before she loses every drop of credibility.

Or perhaps she already has.

Bye Bye Ayumi

TOKYO, Japan - Famous Japanese singer Hamasaki Ayumi was involved in a fatal car crash the previous night. Investigations done so far has indicated that the accident happened due to the car hitting a lamp post while travelling at the speed of about 140km/h. The driver, Matsuko Hotaka, lost control of the vehicle due to unknown reasons. He passed away on the way to the hospital.

Reports have shown that the cars brakes were malfunctioning, thus causing the driver to lose control of the vehicle. "We won't rule out sabotage in this case. It's possible that the brakes have been tampered with," claimed Gen. Honda Kobayashi. Further investigations will be carried out to determine the exact cause of the accident.

Hamasaki Ayumi is known as Japan's most famous singer; she is known throughout Asia and America. With sales exceeding 40 million copies in Japan alone, she is touted as Asia's biggest celebrity. However, recently her career has not been going well due to complications with her record label and competition from other stars in the industry.

LOL

Rivalry

"Japanese singer RURUTIA, known for her epic and ethereal tunes, has made a comment about popular J-Pop singer Ayumi Hamasaki stating that she is "untalented and raw" and "doesn't know the least thing about music. I try my best at my music and AyuSAMA just sits there, doing what, posing naked for a single of little to no credits to herself?"No comment from either artists has been made at this time."

More mishaps

Adorable Ayumi.

Mirrorcle World will be unleashed upon the hapless public in a few days but the Oricon prediction shows that it might be facing some competition from ZARD, a singer who died last year. How did a dead singer release a single? Ask Avex. God knows how they managed to get new material from ZARD.

Also Sugababes and another flop (by their standards when Mutya was around) that makes us think. Denial was a pretty good song too. The Amelle curse, perhaps? Already two singles failing to reach the Top 10, ghastly. And then there's Girls Aloud with their lowest-charting single, the amazing Can't Speak French. But how low is lowest when it's Girls Aloud? Well, a #9. But then again with all the radio support and promotion and Cheryl Cole drama, I expected a Top 5.

Times like these are tough.

Also Ayumi

Once again in a cruel world where all justice is flushed down the public toilet to join dead goldfish, Mika Nakashima suffers in the charts. SAKURA ~花霞~ enters the chart at a lowly #9 and looks set to not perform spectacularly despite being a drama tie-in and a very beautiful song.

However, every cloud has a silver lining blah blah so despite that horrible fact we have to face, we still have things to laugh at. For example: Ayumi. New single covers for Mirrorcle World displays her nakedness with only her hands covering her lack of breasts and she also has fake butterflies in her hair.

If that doesnt reek of desperation I don't know what does.

In any case, I do fancy the song which is a gorgeous and dissonant piece of rock music that blends awkwardly at segments. Still it's all too little too late (and too rock) to revive her now almost-dead career.

Also the world is going to hell

Eien no Uta debuted at #4 and sold around 4,000 copies on it's opening day. As if that wasn't traumatizing enough, Erika will probably be suspended for a year by her company. Also Ai's best studio album sells a measly 208,000 copies at #1.